The mistake was made in Hojo's lab . . .
by E-san
Summary: 'Scarlet Discovers Yaoi' or 'What Hojo Did This Time'


Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, shape or form, own the characters of Final Fantasy. I, just like the rest of us, only wish I did.

~*~*~

Hojo: *siting in his expensive laboratory cackling maniacally as he mixes mysterious blue chemical #1 and mysterious red chemical #2* Mwahahahahaha! I have done it! I have discovered the elixir of life! With this chemical, one may live forever! Mwahahahahaha!

Scarlet: *slams the door open, hair up in curlers and face in mud mask* God damn it! Hojo! What the hell do you think you're up to at 2:00 AM in the fucking morning?!

Hojo: . . . . . . . . . Scarlet? Why are YOU here?

Scarlet: *humphs* I got thrown out of my apartment. They said I disturbed the peace.

Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . The president owns the apartments. 

Scarlet: Who do you think threw me out?

Hojo: Makes perfect sense now. Anyway, you have arrived just in time to witness the first effect of the elixir of life as I test it on one of my test subjects! Now! *spins and looks in the cages, that are empty for some reason*  . . . . . who will be the subject?

Scarlet: This isn't going to turn into one of those stupid stories where the taker of the potion all of a sudden is crapping in their dippers again, is it?

Hojo: Where the hell did all my subjects go?!?!

Elsewhere . . . . 

RedXIII: Aeris, do you have any twos . . . ?

Aeris: *flips her hair triumphantly* Go. Fish.

RedXIII: Shoot. *draws a card from where he and the other test subjects are sitting in a circle playing 'Go Fish'. This consists of RedXIII, Aeris, Vincent, Lucrecia, Jenova, Cloud, Zack, Sephiroth and strangely a large, blue, fuzzy cat-man*

Kimhari: *frowns* Kimhari no like this game . . . 

Aeris: Tough luck! This is the only game Cloud knows how to play, so we're playing it!

Zack: *whispers to Sephiroth* Because he's such a fucking moron . . . 

Jenova: *scowls* I hate this! Can't we play strip poker, or something?!

Lucrecia: You aren't even wearing anything!

Jenova: . . . . . . . . . I can shed my body parts?

Sephiroth: *shudders* Just . . . . . Forget it, Mother.

Lucrecia: *scowls* And how come you call HER mother and not me?!

Vincent: Lucy . . . 

Lucrecia: Don't you Lucy me mister! I'll-

Everyone: *sneezes all at once* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Aeris: . . . . . . . I hate that bastard.

Everyone: *nods in agreement* 

Cloud: *smiles triumphantly* Bingo!

Back to the laboratory . . . 

Hojo: *upon realizing that all of his test subjects are missing, turns to Scarlet, smiling sweetly* Miss Scarlet . . . . . ?

Scarlet: No.

Hojo: *pouts* Why not?

Scarlet: A.) You're a freak.

Hojo: You can't hold my condition against me!

Scarlet: *roles her eyes* B.) You're a MAD scientist.

Hojo: So?

Scarlet: C.) It's never been tested before.

Hojo: And that's exactly why I NEED to! PLEASE-

Scarlet: *frowns* No way in hell, rat face! I'm a very delicate person! If you were to ruin my perfect face for even a second-

Hojo: I'll give you that new laser riffle you wanted to make but the president vetoed. 

Scarlet: *stops* . . . . . . . . . . . Have it ready by Tuesday.

Hojo: Done. *holds the beaker of green liquid out to her expectantly, like a child on Christmas*

Scarlet: *roles her eyes, taking the beaker from him* You'd think I had just offered to sleep with you, or something. *downs the beakers contents n one gulp, blinking dumbly as she all of a sudden as a weird feeling in her gut*

Hojo: *fairly jumping up and down n excitement* Yes?! Yes?! What's happening?! CAN YOU FEEL THE CHANGE?!?!?!

Scarlet: Oddly . . . . I can. *she then promptly passed out, right there on the floor, robe falling open as she descended*

Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *sweatdrops, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets* This was NOT the change that I expected . . . . . 

A few hours later . . . . . . 

Scarlet: *waking up from her slumber* O-oh . . . . . Hojo . . . . . I'm going to _kill you . . . . _

Hojo: *spins around, a massive sweatdrop upon his face* Oh! Err, you're awake?! Heh! Good! Good!

Scarlet: *blinks* I feel . . . . Odd.

Hojo: Oh! Well! That is to be expected after such an ordeal is undergone! 

Scarlet: . . . . . . . . What did you do to me?

Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you take a moment to take yourself into account, you'll quickly find out.

Scarlet: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!

Hojo: *sighs deeply, rolling his eyes as he slides his glasses up his nose* So, Miss Scarlet, how does it feel to be a member of the male race?

Scarlet: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm going to kill you.

~*~*~

To be continued . . . . . . . . *BUMBUMBUM-!*

Note: For those of you who didn't understand the reference of sneezing, in anime, a person usually sneezes when they are being talked about by someone else. All of them sneezing at once meant that Hojo was talking about his test subjects. Thank you, and I will try to post again soon. Please Review!


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